I'm not Missing You.

if I can go back to the past,

I would choose not to know you at all.

it’s not that I regret

it’s because I can’t face

the fact that I’m without you.

from now on,

our happiness is no longer

relevant to each other.

the word “love” is actually

something so far from me until I couldn’t reach.

thinking of you quietly,

putting on some soft and smooth music.

your shadow is dim,

your face is blur,

but those won’t affect my emotions while I’m thinking of you.

I’m not missing you much,

just that when I’m happy I’ll thought of you,

you’re the first person that I wanted to share my happiness with.

I’m not missing you much

just that when I’m sad I’ll thought of you

you’re the first person that I wanted to express my sadness.

I’m not missing you much,

just that when I’m listening to songs I’ll thought of you from nowhere

there’s no reason why

it’s just that the lyrics are similar to you and me.

I’m not missing you much,

just that when I’m waking up in the morning I’ll thought of you from nowhere

there’s no reason why

it’s just that the person who appeared in my dream looked like you.

I’m not missing you much,

just that when I’m reading I’ll thought of you from nowhere

there’s no reason why

it’s just that the book’s main characters are similar to you and me.

I really din miss you so much

I only thought of you when I’m walking into some junctions

I only thought of you when I’m half way watching movie

I only thought of you when I’m half way listening songs

I really din miss you so much,

I only thought of you when I don’t want to think of you

This is good

I’m not thinking bout you

I just thought of you until my eyes are watery.

missing you,

but I’m afraid to let you know

that’s why dare not and won’t bother you.

I’m only keeping your smses in my phone,

bringing them out and read them again when I miss you

reading them slowly and feel it with details

after that, I will smile but sad at the same time.

I’m only keeping your favourite songs

never wanted to delete them

because those few “normal’ songs

I can play them again when I miss you

reminding me bout the past.

I’m only waiting for your sms at this quiet and silence night

when it arrives, there’s a kind of excitement in the heart

but I only reply with normal greetings without those excitement

funny jokes, funny arguments

if it don’t arrive,

it somehow brought disappointment

then I’ll sleep with a half dreaming half conscious mood.

the days without you,

I can only work hard to keep update with you

acting like there’s nothing

but after that I’m listening to what they said bout you

and carve those things bout you into my mind

I’m always loving you more than you can imagine

but I just can’t tell you.

lifting up my head to see the clouds of this city

breathing the air in this city

can also make me thought of you.

thinking that those clouds and air will move to your side

even if so

my heart is still warmly….

this moment,

I’m thinking of you

but only thinking of you

and not bothering you

miss you, but not disturbing/bothering you

it’s because I really love you.

Hey Guys !

ooops,accidentally followed Christina Grimmie's words, nvm...

was wondering how many of you actually still visit this blog page once in a while... it's been so long ever since my last post... guess i'm not that active and moody to blog everyday anymore... recently, felt really lifeless... besides eating, there's only sleeping... gained like 11kg ever since my national service, which was like 19 months ago?

really have no idea what to blog about...
i'll just update bout myself a lil

studies? so so, not doing so well for my past exam, felt bad for it... hopefully this coming semester, i'll be hardworking... hopefully everything will be going well during this semester, sick of being an useless sh*t, sick of being slacker, doing is not as easy as it's said... and Rome wasn't built in a day, so... work hard this semester =P

relationship? as usual, staying single, well... rather not to have than being with someone that you worried that you might break up with her or worry that you can't be good? i'm cursed perhaps? everytime when i like someone, i can see their relationship changing in the coming month, from being single to in a relationship with bla and bla, but once i stop liking them or rather give up? they went from in a relationship to single... hopefully it wasn't coincident for them >.< hope you girls find your Mr Right soon alright? ^^ guess i'm just not so right >.< will continue searching for my Ms Right ^^ but ya, i'll still "care" bout you girls... as a friend or whatever, hopefully i wasn't being annoying =P

career achievement? *close topic* nothing YET, more to come ^^

2 is better than 1, but... hopefully i won't be missing 2 girls at 1 time anymore >.<

please clear my mind of 1 girl, and leave the other one for me to love...

love matters, it never end.

poem? not today.

for those who read this, thank you for visiting my blog ^^ hope it doesn't sounds emo

" Do Not Take Everything Too Seriously "

somehow, i love the phrase more as time passes.
somehow, i'm really getting sick of people.
somehow, i really wanted to shout out loud but i find it pointless to do so.

assignment... what is assignment actually? why everyone is so stress doing it??
basically, assignment is something similar to tutorial questions, it's something that test our understanding based on what we've learnt, it's just that, it holds some marks of our final total marks, unlike tutorial. if you find it difficult to do the assignment, that means you've not understand enough during the classes.

why i say do not take everything too seriously? it's because everyone is taking everything over serious and some people just don't know how to be considerate. gosh, everyone has their responsibility, especially group assignments that include individual parts. think for others please. it's true that you might not know how to fully complete your part of the assignment, but please bear in mind that, your group members have their part to do as well, even if there's someone with outstanding results or talents in your group, do you think you should pass him/her everything that you left undone for that person to complete it for you?

to be continued... exploded

missing through the universe?

1. 2 days ago... i suddenly have this flashing image through my mind... it was her who appeared... i really missed her at that moment for some reasons which i don't know... then "she" smsed me asking me am i talking bad bout her because she just sneezed... haha... i didn't know something so funny can happen... when i really miss her until some point, she'll sneeze... i was thinking, was it a coincidence? or i'm really missing her... did i really miss her until she sneezes?

2. as i was thinking where to have my lunch just now... i thought of "her"... i thought of the dragonfruit ice blended that she ordered the other day... so, i decided to go there and eat... once i sat down, i look at the menu, i flipped to the page of ice blended drinks... it cost RM3.50, at that moment... i realise... i couldn't afford it... haha... my friend asked me what to eat... i asked her to order what "she" ordered last time... it really reminds me of her at some point... half way eating... a song of S.H.E.'s played... memories... images... are getting more... suddenly... i heard "her" laughters... i thought i was missing her too much until i'm hearing something that others don't... i looked around... i noticed "she"'s just sitting at the end of the other corner... i was thinking, was it a coincidence again? or i'm just really missing her... did i really miss her until she appears?

finally knew, finally realised

just like the title above... i finally found out something that i should've find it out long long time ago...

all this while, i thought when i like someone, i should treat her as good as i can and wish to be with her most of the time... but... after what happened last night and few nights back... i realised... treating her good isn't showing that i love her... it's more like making her to feel bad... because she dun love me or love me yet... treating her too nice will just make some other ppl jealous or started to criticize bout her cause in other ppl's view or eyes, they just see that i'm treating her good and she doesn't know how to appreciate those things i've done for her... i never blamed her or hated her for not accepting me, because before this i've already found out that she has her rights to make her own decisions and choices...

probably treating her good... is what i should do after get to couple with her? but i really dunno what to do or what else i can do to express my feelings... and it feels really suck when you get to know that she's not really that happy when you're around her... i always say i treat everyone the same... not just towards the person i like... and that's the fact too... but when things starting to get obvious... and ppl around me just starting to fool themselves even more... so what if i liked her? so what if i'm treating her good or better than you? the fact is, you guys started to avoid me to crate chances for me... you guys dun even know what's happening between me and her... what you all do are just keep giving comments over what you've saw...

to be honest, if you ask me any questions or any favors, i'll do whatever i can to help you. not just towards the person i like but everyone around me... stop saying me putting the girl over my friends la... ask yourself mann, did you even bother to ask me questions when you really dunno how to do?? did you really ask me to do any favor for you when you needed someone's help?? gosh mann... grow up lar... stop being so childish and so curious !! what the heck you can do after knowing the truth? after knowing what you wanna know ?!?!?!? gosh !! i really hate it when i'm treating other ppl good but you ppl just dun giv a dam on what i did for you guys... yeah, you also know how to say she dun like things to be so obvious and she dun like things to go that fast... but look at yourself !! what you're doing?!?! try to think again before anything happens mann... is it very fun to take others' relationship and joke bout it?? respect yourself and respect others please !! stop fooling yourself around like what !!!

yeah, i'm pissed off... do i look like i dun hav temper at all?? gosh !! make sure you guys know the limit before it went over !! that would be tooo late !!!


EVERY TIME HAPPEN THE SAME THING, WHY WON'T YOU GET SICK OF IT?? OR WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO ?!?!?!

11th June 2010 = a WTF day

well, everything were nice until evening time... haiz... there were aunties blocking me ==" 1 dun let me cut her even though i put signal for quite long d, she purposely speed up some more right after i put signal... the other one worse...

i was trying to U-turn but i got forced to the 2nd lane from the right... and at traffic, i try to cut her slowly cause i really have to U-turn... so i signal and slowly move forward, mana tahu she go Gear-1 then move forward also, then looked at me, she smiled then laugh... then her daughter at the back seat also laughing... from her expression, she's telling her daughter that she's not gonna let me go... and she's telling me, dun think you youngsters can drive like how you want... HELLO~ i got forced to mid lane wei, i signal before that, but the other aunty purposely speed up to block me, the other one, purposely move forward to block me... really oh my gosh wei... luckily no accident happen there mann...

haiz... just this 2 incidents made my day miserable... dammit... why can't ppl just let me go?? hello~ i signal already, and i slowly move, not like i purposely drive fast and stop in front of you to force you letting me pass... please lar, i know you're aunty and i'm youngster, but please dun do this kind of stuff again lar... it's so dangerous you know ?!?!? and letting me pass it's like.. just 5seconds!! gosh... i really hate ppl who dun signal... if it's not useful, why the heck they put this thinge?? and what's the point for you to signal when your car already 60% out from your lane!! what the hell mann, human nowadays are getting stupid and lack of logical thinking... haiz... i know everyone think from different view, maybe in their view i'm just some reckless youngster driver...

wrong guess

haha, bout the previous post, i guessed it wrongly, o.O they din know each other until they get to this college. ^^ well, nothing much though... just feel kinda unlucky for the previous week cause almost everyday my lrt/ktm got delayed... and on thursday, when i go by car, there's even road block ==" made me late for my class for 16 minutes.... and today, nothing's wrong ==" i reached college at 845am but my class at 1030am, and now i'm so sleepy =="

college

haha, i started my college life like last week?? and now i'm blogging in the citc of my college... ^^

well... i'm lucky to like know almost all my tutorial ppl already... basically more than 50% of them already knew each other before coming in to this tutorial class... hehe.... cause more than 50 % of them are from pahang and i guess they're from the same secondary school... hehe... it makes my life easier to get to know more ppl because most of them already knew each other... ^^

i'm actually doing my HOMEWORK now cause i forgot bout it for like whole week?? ==" din expect to have homework for now... should remind myeslf to do homework next time already... if not everytime rush in college isn't something good.. haha! it's no longer secondary where you can postpone your due dates and deadlines.. =( used to be lazy and really lazy... guess i really need to start to be hardworking and do all my homeworks.. ^^

"friends"

i guess i've misunderstood the word above... i guess ever since the first moment this word was introduced into my life, i got it wrongly, until today, i finally realise what's a friend, and how to be a friend... i was making mistakes all the time =(

A friend is suppose to accept who you are instead wanting you to be who they want. maybe i was a bad friend after all, i've never make decisions... i've never know how to make decisions until today... until someone told me that i shouldn't be this way anymore... until someone told me that i should really start thinking for my own future instead of satisfying everyone around me... i always say i'm borned to help... but now only i realise i wasn't helping, i'm doing something wrong all this while...

A friend is suppose to help the other friend when he needed some help. BUT not always helping other friends to solve their problems... everyone has to learn how to handle what they're facing... and i really made a wrong decisioni today =( maybe it's just the old me, i need to renew myself really soon =) no man is an island, but every man should learn how to be independent instead of being dependent. there are times that you'll be facing troubles alone, with no supports, with no opinions, with no advices, that's the time you have to think and decide totally base on your own.

A friend is suppose to share stuff with another instead of keep saying bout one's problems. it's true there are listeners, they prefer listening more than expressing. but, they're just prefering... i'm sure they need someone else for them to express also right? they just need the right person with the right moment... not everyone like to express, at times like this, as a friend, we must strengthen our observation, observe better and be the man, do the right thing. >.<

i really dunno what are friends suddenly, blank in the mind.... haiz...

so many things going around...

damm! really hate this kinda feeling !!

something wrong?

i always felt blessed when i'm driving, that's why i'm really glad

but recently, i somehow felt dangerous? i nearly killed a cat, i nearly killed a frog.

dunno ler... haha

recently do what also like no mood, no energy... play game also like no soul.... like a living corpse

maybe just too much to think of XD